LIZARDS ARE THINGS I LIKE TO LICK! peer review 2-2

Final submission for the week unless I toss in another freewrite somewhere. If I do, that'll be awesometastic and a halfstic. See how I forced a rhyme there? This week's pt. 2 will feature Spencer who I think is totally killin' it now that he posts a bit more. Check this sweet shit that he riffs from Meitner.
2046
by: Spencer Lovvorn

Don't mistake this for mania:
pulling towers down.

An animal
weakened with poison
injected precisely. The adder
could lie flat, still waiting
sluggishly, like compromise,
like discord. Just floating into
the natural.
Don't move
an adder. Creep
as heavily as you can before
you disappoint
or relent.

Employ me a path. Employ me
a frame
             of company in the nest
while generations design us
along unquestionable scenes.

Remember:
subtle output
lumps over time.
The shock sustains frenzy
as if it's predictable.
Your voice will flourish.
My voice will flourish.

---------------------------------------------------------

What I liked: The language obviously. I like the part with the adder--assuming he is referencing a snake--"Don't move / an adder." Is both humorous and it comes from "Don't waste a movement" and I think Spencer's revision is actually better than the original; in the context of this poem, the stanza is all about an adder. I also like "waiting / sluggishly, like compromise" And I think I like that for a different reason: it just sounds so damn nice. Flows off my tongue, and makes sense in some vital way. It's as if the poem is oddly cryptic while at the same time, imparting some universal wisdom. Love the contrast in that. Very subtle.

Improvements: The first stanza doesn't seem to really have as much to do with the rest of the poem, and it loses me. Pulling towers down is not especially manic I don't think, but I suppose I could be wrong. It just doesn't seem to jive with the rest of the tune is all. The final stanza sounds like it is just a bunch of cool words thrown together--something I am also guilty of. It sounds cool, yes, but I don't know what it means--though that could perhaps be the point. Never was sure why Meitner did that strange thing with the lines in the third stanza, and I'm still not sure it really does anything here--maybe you could make it important? I mean, it forces a really harsh enjambment on the reader, and I don't know why. I want enjambment to mean something to me. I want enjambment to slap me in the face, or punch me out or something--this enjambs like a lamb named Sam, but why? If you're going to trip up my flow, do it for a reason. Gimme' a one-two punch, brah. 

All together: Fantastic poem--lots of wonderful language, a great example of when Calisthenics go properly--not like one of the attempts I made below this post and then had to do more to it. It fits--for the most part--flows well, and has some wonderful absurdness that I really enjoy in a poem, but it could be strengthened with a more focused first stanza, a redo of the fourth stanza with its hodgepodge of words, and making that enjambment count--use it to tie the first stanza with the last. Make that enjambment carry the third stanza into a segue into the final stanza. That's what I would like to see. Keep up the ass kicking.